Ambyr Childers he has no regrets about moving his life from Los Angeles to Montana while experiencing a high breakup, his sobriety and reconnecting with a higher power.
After her divorce with the producer Randall Emmett – called it quits in 2017 after years of dating rumors Vanderpump Rules‘ Sleep Kent – Childers, 37, was struggling. He self-medicated his anxiety and depression with alcohol and Xanax, and when he realized the numbness wasn’t working, he realized he needed a change — and he got sober.
“There was a lot of grief that I felt after the divorce and now I have it. I have these moments where I can be sad and I allow that without rushing to something that will reduce that grief,” said Childers. Us Weekly. “So now, I cry a lot, and when I cry I remind myself, ‘I’m melting.’ I’m just recovering and it’s a good thing.”
The children’s quest for self-discovery led her to Montana where she lives with Emmett’s daughters: London, 16, and Rylee, 12. Now, she’s rediscovering her passion for acting roles in projects like the upcoming biker drama. Born To Losehis “Unexpected Story” podcast with Kent (more on that below) and a renewed perspective on this next chapter in life, focusing on “healing and coming home” to himself.
“That was a big part of me moving to Montana — I needed a quiet place. Los Angeles was too noisy for me inside and out,” Childers recalled. “I needed a place to experience myself again.”
Childers credits the change with helping her “commit” to what was meant for her, adding, “It’s helped me with my sobriety, and it’s helped me rebuild in a really honest way. It’s like rebuilding a version of yourself that you’re really happy to have.”
Childs breaks down her emotional healing journey — and her return to acting and the public eye — here:
How do you know when it’s time to leave Los Angeles?
To make life easier sometimes — to get in touch with your inner self. I couldn’t just feel sorry for myself and love myself and think about my mistakes. [until now].
When did you first consider moving?
I was 16 years old living in LA. Last year, I woke up and it was a voice saying, “You have to get out. You’re getting thinner.” I kept getting this vision of the spirit yelling at me, like, “You’ve got to go.”
Why Montana?
My sister [moved] to Bozeman, and I said, “Wow, I’ve never been to Montana. I took one of my daughters to visit … and I’ll never forget the feeling when I got there. I looked around and said to myself, “You have to be here, there’s something magical here.” That is the gift of humility: being able to feel your feeling without being clouded.
After your performance You in 2019, he took a break.
Acting is my first love. It brought me back to myself and helped me love art. What I do for a living – and everything I do now – comes from a pure place.
I try to be very intentional about what I come up with. I have a new one. It is important that I help them, but they also need to see my mother working. It’s really important to follow my dreams, to be happy with what I do, to choose stories and characters that inspire me. I don’t move and act out of depression or need. I come from a place of curiosity and being an artist.
How has it changed your perspective on the roles you want to take?
I return my narrative. There are projects that I have in development, there are projects that I am doing and it feels really good because these are the stories that I want to tell.
I always tell people that I love working with people who are better than me. I want to be the most ignorant person in that set because I feel like I have a lot to learn. Life is short, let’s have fun.
Talk to us about coming back Born To Lose.
There’s this thing I love about making indie films. It is made on a budget so people show up to work because they believe in the film. It comes from a place of true art rather than ego.
I also have a project with Lala that we are currently working on. This is the foundation of a new chapter for me. Now it tells my story in a very beautiful and creative way.
You go back to telling other people’s stories – what about yours?
One of the most profound things Lala made me realize is that ultimately, my story is the most important. I need to care about you like I care about my other characters that I have played or will play.
There is lust but also anxiety, which is just fear. It’s sad that I didn’t allow myself to feel it for a long time and now I was able to stay sad.
Sounds like you’re getting your voice back.
I feel reconnected with who I am. I started acting when I was eight years old and over the years you end up filling this gap between yourself and what you want to be. My gift comes from my higher power. I was given this and it is my duty to use my gift of art and speaking to inspire people, to teach people, to help other people. I want to help other people in any way I can.
Do you think the Montana movement will last forever?
I don’t try to control anything in my life. That is another gift of humility. It is simply complete acceptance and surrender. If you would have told me five years ago that I would be sober, move to Montana and start a podcast with my ex-husband’s wife, I would have been like, “Are you crazy?” But that’s the beauty of life.
When you talk about your friendship with Lala, how did you get there?
The most important thing about that relationship is that we didn’t dwell on the pain of what happened to us or what we chose. We both chose to stay strong, stay accountable and meet in a place of honesty. It takes a lot of reflection and that’s what makes our friendship real.
Talk to us about the decision to collaborate on the “Unexpected Story” podcast.
People already knew our story. So I wanted to share where we were. I don’t want people to think, “Look what happened to their relationship”. No, it’s, ‘Look where their relationship took them.’ This is what our life looks like.
Just listening to your podcast, and it sounds like you’ve been able to create this blended family.
To me, Lala was a stranger, then she became a wife and then she became an acquaintance. Now I love her like a sister.
Women really hurt each other and it really breaks my heart. I feel it is part of my responsibility to share what I have learned and what I have experienced.
He taught me a lot, and I hope to do the same. I hope there is much healing for him. My kids love Ocean [Kent’s 5-year- old daughter with Emmett]. They are sisters … I want them to feel connected
When it comes to your ex-husband, how did you both come to a better place for your children?
I got married really young but the divorce taught me to take responsibility for my life, my choices, my limits and what I am willing to accept. It showed me that love without self-respect does not last and I can honestly say that I did not respect myself. I learned how to stop being self-deprecating and start showing up in a more honest way.
It gave me clarity after the divorce about who I am, what I need and how I want to live and how I want to appear in the world. And how I want to show it in my next relationship and how I can model a good relationship with my daughters.
I am very grateful for that part of my life. I don’t regret it at all. I have two beautiful, funny children who bring me so much joy every day.
How is the breeding going?
You put together the best you can, and it’s not perfect. Some days are easier than others. I want my children to see a healthy dynamic between me and myself.
A number of Hollywood’s biggest stars have gone public with their modesty journeys over the years. Kelly Osbourne, who has been sober for six years, revealed in April 2021 that she had relapsed and was working on the next steps. “I’m not proud of it. But I’m back on track,” he wrote in an email […]
How is dating in Montana different from Los Angeles?
We have problems in the dating world today. It doesn’t matter where you are, it’s just hard. I’ve been off dating for a long time and I’ve met some really nice guys and some guys that I’m not and don’t do for me. Dating teaches you about yourself. I never knew you so now I’m here with my job, my sanityand my children are in the prime of my life.
When I meet a great person, I know exactly what I want. At the right time, the universe and my higher power will bring the person who is in harmony with who we are meant to be.
[But I have also] find community in a book club, quietly. I found a community with just neighbors. I didn’t have that in LA. It’s different here [where] people care about you.How has your relationship with religion changed since you were raised Mormon?
When you’re growing up, you don’t have a choice about where your family comes from. I am very grateful for the experience I had in the Mormon church. Now I’m in a place where I don’t hold grudges and I don’t get angry. It’s not my cup of tea or where I’m at in my life. But there are many good qualities and values that I have taken from growing up Mormon and have brought to my family,
But I have always struggled with religion. I feel now that I am truly spiritual and I made a promise to my ex-husband that I would raise my children Jewish and I have. But I think life has kicked me enough where I am, I need to find my own version of what a higher power is.
How has life improved since you got drunk?
I wouldn’t be in a relationship with Lala now if we weren’t both drunk. There was a lot of pain and that humility gave me honesty, acceptance and confidence in myself. Now I am able to help other people and I am a much better mother because of it. That is something I will never take for granted and I am grateful for the choice I made.
How has submission changed your relationship with your higher power?
I really believe that I had to go through some really dark days and chapters in my life to be able to rely on something where I was like, “Okay, I don’t want to control my life anymore because this control hasn’t gotten me anywhere. It’s just holding me in a deep hole that’s getting closer to my grave and I don’t want to be there.” For me, having a higher power gave me my foundation to rely on.
Where do you hope to see yourself in 10 years?
I want to see my children flourish, be happy, be healthy—emotionally, physically, spiritually. I want to do what I love whether that’s producing or directing. I want to continue telling stories that inspire women [and continue] to build this community that I have with Lala and me.
For me, it’s about living in my art because it’s a great way to express myself. It’s home for me.
