Sexy Comedy Featuring America’s Girl Next Door explains why your relationships keep failing
By Chris Snellgrove | Published
You know how memes can sometimes be accidentally deep? For example, one of my favorites is when people share this funny quote from it Garth Marenghi’s Dark Place: “I know writers who use subtitles, they are all cowards.” In the context of the show, this quote is meant to highlight what a terrible storyteller Marenghi himself is. More than two decades after the show aired its final episode, this quote highlights how the exact opposite is true. Writers who use subtext are actually good and courage because they produce intelligent content for a very large audience dumb to understand any of it.
This is especially true of screenwriting because most moviegoers don’t look beyond the exterior. That’s why, say, people think RoboCop again Starship Troopers cool, violent movies instead of sad social commentary. The best example of this situation, however, is actually a sweet, charming romantic comedy: (500) Days of summer. It’s easy to get lost in the banter and bluster of the relationship between the characters played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel. However, underneath the silly comedy is a very ugly truth, which explains why your relationship keeps falling apart, no matter how hard you try.
Adorkable Office Romance
The foundation of (500) Days of summer (and watch out for some spoilers if you haven’t seen it!) that an architect (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) falls head over heels in love with his boss’s new assistant (Zooey Deschanel). After a spontaneous kiss, she admits to a casual relationship, and the two end up very happy together. Unfortunately, he’s looking for something serious, and he’s looking for a casual, win-win relationship. In the end, they break up badly, but things turn out very well for them: she throws herself back into her dream job, while the former neglecter finally finds the man she wants to marry.
For the most part, (500) Days of summer it plays like a typical rom-com thrown in with a few heavy doses of drama. In other words, not the kind of movie men usually get their pants twisted about. However, this cool film proved to be controversial because it was built around an unreliable narrator. Most of the film is from the perspective of Tom, a hopeless love interest played by Gordon-Levitt. After Summer (a carefree cutie played by Deschanel) breaks up with Tom because she doesn’t want anything serious, many viewers feel a sense of betrayal, as if she abandoned a good man and settled for her first revenge.
This Is Why Your Relationship Fails
Of course, the irony that dudes are so angry about this movie is that (500) Days of summer gently tries to explain why so many relationships fail. There is a common belief that many couples break up because one partner stops trying so hard, effectively killing the spark they once shared. But that’s not the case in this movie because Tom tries hard making things work in the summer; in fact, he tries too hard, which ultimately pushes him away. The men who take Tom’s side in all of this are often confused and angry. After all, how can Tom do everything right but lose the girl?
The short answer, of course, is that he didn’t do everything right. The timey-wimey plot of (500) Days of summer it shows us different points in the couple’s relationship, effectively exploring the highs and lows of their time together. The viewers, like Tom himself, carelessly focus only on the happy moments, not realizing how important their struggle is with different opinions. These are not small matters; rather, they are cracks in a foundation that was not very strong in the first place. The premise started with a misunderstanding: Tom is looking for a serious girlfriend, and Summer is just looking for casual fun without putting any kind of clear label on what they’re doing.
Are You Thinking The Same Thing?
The most upset people in the summer are men who feel like she’s sending mixed messages with her behavior. We see her holding hands with Tom, enjoying romantic dinners, and watching weird porn together, which some think are signs of a serious relationship. But to believe that, the haters should do exactly what Tom did: ignore the words coming out of Summer’s mouth. You try again and again to tell a man that he doesn’t want a committed, long-term relationship, but he only sees and feels what he wants. So, her efforts to become a marriageable boyfriend ultimately backfire because it’s the last thing she wants.
So, gentlemen, what is the lesson here, and how can it help you navigate your relationship? The first and undoubtedly most important thing is to make sure that all parties are on the same page. If you like a girl, you need to ask her indeed what he wants. Are you trying to find Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now? There’s nothing wrong with both of you wanting a friends-with-benefits situation or even if you want to explore more flexible things like the principles of monogamy or polyamory. The only thing wrong at this stage is doing what Tom did: simply assuming that your partner wants the same thing you do.
More than you can imagine
Besides, there’s a lesson that’s especially relevant for younger viewers: your love life doesn’t have to move at a fixed pace. It doesn’t matter if all your friends are promising each other or whatever; if you’re not ready to be, then don’t worry about it. Once you find someone, you shouldn’t be like Tom and just think you’re in love. Instead, you should take the time to make sure you’re both compatible. Finally, you need to be honest in your assessment of the pros and cons of your relationship. When you put on the optimistic blinders like Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s character does, it’s only a matter of time before you lose your sight.
(500) Days of summer it’s a great movie, mostly because of the brilliant subtitles. To really enjoy the film, you have to do as Tom does and see things from Summer’s perspective. Doing this in your relationship is a great way to stay connected with your partner and prevent small problems from becoming major disasters. Doing so also helps you understand whether you are dating a real person or your idea of him. Need more love advice? Believe it or not, it’s free! (500) Days of summer currently streaming on Tubi.
