My unemployed husband lost $30K in trading cards and I don’t make enough to support our family. What should we do?
Financial infidelity is rampant, and the costs—both emotional and financial—can be devastating.
Data from the National Endowment for Financial Education, which includes more than a decade of research, shows that 41% of American spouses admit to having deceived their spouse about their finances or purchases. Meanwhile, 75% reveal that financial fraud has affected their previous or current relationships (1).
This type of deception can range from lying about shopping expenses or hiding shopping bags from a spouse to secret bank accounts and investments. In some cases, it may mean hiding a side hustle.
Consider Jennifer’s story. Just six months after giving birth, she discovered that her husband, Ben, had sunk $30,000 into a secret business where he bought and sold Magic The Gathering trading cards online. He was recently fired from his job as a software developer and has been struggling to find work ever since. Also with huge credit card debt, the couple faces serious financial problems in addition to the betrayal Jennifer feels from Ben’s reckless behavior.
Jennifer works as a journalist and makes $80,000 a year. Their expenses include a monthly mortgage of $2250 and $16,000 a year in child care – the average cost in their home state of Delaware (2). Jennifer knows she doesn’t make enough to cover their monthly expenses and makes a reasonable showing on the $50,000 in debt they currently carry, and Ben’s unemployment insurance covers a small portion of their bills.
However, not all hope is lost. Here’s what a couple can do to repair the damage, both financially and in their relationship.
Trading cards have seen a resurgence in popularity over the past decade, driven primarily by millennial and Gen Z customers who are looking for casual fun while hoping to use them as an alternative investment.
“Most adults buy this because it takes them back to a time when they didn’t have a care in the world,” Juli Lennett, vice president and industry consultant for Circa’s US toys practice told CNBC (3). “It’s an affordable luxury in the economy right now. Some couldn’t buy cards as kids now they have their own money and no one can say ‘no’.”
In fact, the industry is booming. I The Wall Street Journal reported in September 2025 how investments in Pokémon cards yielded a cumulative return of 3,821% between 2004 and 2025 (4). Grand View Research estimates that the sports trading card market, with a value of $13.51 billion in 2025, will rise to $24.71 billion in 2033 (5).
However, some experts have raised the alarm about how indulging in this lucrative hobby can be remarkably similar to gambling addiction. Another multi-country study that followed 2,000 card buyers across the US, UK, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and Ireland found that buying these trading cards was associated with problem gambling (6).
The allure of making a quick buck is a big part of the appeal of this secondary trading market. It’s full of stories of those who got rich buying and selling old cards, including a 27-year-old man The Wall Street Journal who paid for his fiancee’s 3.5 carat diamond wedding ring with the proceeds of selling one of his rare Pokémon cards (5).
However, critics warn that the market is too speculative. For baseball cards, the early 1980s market collapsed after companies expanded production. Experts also say that the value of the card corresponds to the public perception of the outstanding athlete. If a player is injured or publicly embarrasses himself, his card value will decrease accordingly. The current market bubble for all types of trading cards can pop again as soon as popular taste trends in new ways (5). Therefore, wise financial advisors warn investors against investing in this type of alternative asset with more money than they can afford to lose.
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Ben’s decision to bet on a risky venture and hide a large purchase from Jennifer is not only an act of financial dishonesty, it is probably a sign of a gambling problem that should be dealt with by a professional.
His secrecy at a time of great change in the couple’s life will also have a significant impact on the stability of their marriage. At any stage of life, but especially when starting a family, finances need to be an open book. Not only should the couple disclose their assets and liabilities, but they should also be honest about, and find alignment with, their financial values and future goals. This includes creating a shared budget that includes timelines for when you can reach certain financial milestones.
It is also important to address whether the financial infidelity was an attempt to “make ends meet” or rebel over an unspoken issue in the marriage.
In order to repair their broken relationship and trust, Ben and Jennifer should consider marriage counseling and consider working with a financial counselor who specializes in couples. Although the emotional damage can take a long time to heal, the financial damage can be reduced by the following steps:
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To avoid further misappropriation, Jennifer can separate her funds from the family accounts from Ben’s
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The couple can seek help from The National Foundation for Credit Counseling or another non-profit organization in their area to help set a new budget and deal with the debt Ben has accumulated.
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Because Jennifer is a new mother and Ben is unemployed, the couple may be eligible for Special Nutrition for Women, Infants, and Children (WIC) or SNAP benefits. They should also ask about welfare programs or subsidies for children and health care for low-income families.
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National Endowment for Financial Education (1); CNBC (2), (3); The Wall Street Journal (4); Grand View Research (5); Leon Y. Xiao, City University of Hong Kong (6)
This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. Offered without warranty of any kind.
