My daughter mixed up finances with her ex-boyfriend, and her credit was damaged. How can I help him get back on track?
Even money-conscious parents who spend years teaching their children how to budget, save and avoid debt must accept that growing children will make their own decisions – and mistakes.
That becomes even more difficult when those subjects involve love and money.
Picture Jane, a 58-year-old mother, watching her 27-year-old daughter, Krysta, struggle financially after a divorce. Jane always considered Krysta a liability. He finished college, got a steady job and always paid his bills on time.
Then Krysta met Tyler. Jane thought she was old, but she was harmless. It wasn’t until later that she learned that Tyler was bad with money, and Krysta condoned his behavior. She added Tyler as an authorized user on her credit card because it has a lower interest rate than hers. He took out a car loan that he couldn’t afford on his own. They rented a luxury apartment for which they were well-qualified because of Krysta’s strong credit and income.
When the relationship ends, so does Tyler’s willingness to pay. The car payments fell behind. Additional credit card debt was unpaid. They broke their lease, but he bailed on his half of the last month’s rent. And because most of the money was tied up in both of their names, damage followed Krysta. His score has dropped. Jane wants to help, but what can she do under this kind of situation?
Pooling isn’t just about splitting the rent or sharing a streaming account — it can mean sharing debt. In Krysta’s case, she had a lot to lose.
When someone allows a partner to use their credit card, co-sign a loan or qualify for housing based on their strong credit score, they are putting their own financial reputation on the line. Lenders don’t care who swiped the card or drove the car. They care whose name is on the contract.
That underscores a stark truth: seniors are responsible for their debt. Even though Krysta felt stressed or wanted to “help” Tyler, she willingly agreed to sign the papers.
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For parents like Jane, the instinct may be to jump in and fix everything. But think how vulnerable he must feel. In addition to mending a broken heart, Krysta may be dealing with shame and embarrassment.
