These Social Media Sites Will Bring Happiness To Your Feed

If you want someone to convince you to stop using social media, I’m not your girl. I’m not going to tell you to delete Instagram, limit your use of TikTok with a timer, or ditch the community for making it such a big part of our lives. While there is nothing wrong with these methods—and each comes with its own advantages—I share a different perspective.

Social media has become an integral part of our lives, and I’d rather spend my energy learning how to use it well than pretend it’s going away. The goal is not perfection. It maximizes rewards while minimizing risk.

How do we make that happen? The beauty of social media. I share how to improve the feel-good effects of social media (it exists!) and give you tips to help you feel more connected, empowered, and inspired every time you open the app.

If you come away from this article having learned one thing, I want it to be this: Using social media in a passive way is one of the biggest contributors to the feelings of loneliness and dissatisfaction we often associate with our feeds. It makes sense, but it’s also backed up by research. When we lurk, scroll for hours without connecting, or consume endless content without engaging, we often end up feeling less than when we started.

Social media is meant to be social.

Humans have connection lines. We are social creatures after all. When we use social media to connect on a deeper level, we feel less alone—and it can actually support our psychological well-being. The way we use social media has a huge impact on how we feel when we log out.

Don’t Be A Voyeur

A few years ago, I listened to a conversation between psychologist and author Guy Winch and psychologist Esther Perel. Their conversation completely changed the way I think about social media.

One of Guy Winch’s biggest takeaways is that loneliness doesn’t come from social media itself—it comes from the inactivity many of us use. We scan other people’s lives without commenting, posting, or engaging. We watch instead of participate.

And that’s the key: communication requires communication. If we just look at everyone else, we miss the opportunity to be seen ourselves.

Join, Join, Join.

If I follow you on social media, I hope you hear from me eventually. Whether we met once, haven’t spoken in years, or built an audience of hundreds of thousands, there’s a good chance I’ll eventually leave a thoughtful comment or send a message.

I can’t eat without sharing, especially after hearing Guy Winch’s insight. It’s one of the reasons why Diane Cari and I have an inside joke—and how I got my personal book recommendation from Ryan Holiday.

Take it from someone who knows: constant interaction and interaction with other people’s content (in a kind way that respects boundaries) transforms scrolling from something passive to something with real community.

And don’t underestimate the power of a DM. Some of my favorite conversations have started because someone sent me a post that reminded them of me or responded to a Story with a thoughtful comment. More often than not, that private engagement feels even more meaningful than what happens in the comments.

Spread Social Media Positivity

A genuine compliment that is direct and from your heart can make a day, a week, or even change the way he thinks. Remember: Your words are powerful.

Something I promised myself a long time ago is that if I see something good, I won’t hold my tongue. Whatever you call the opposite of a social media troll (social media legend?) is what I aim to be.

One of my favorite ways to spread that energy is to leave powerful kindness (it’s a thing!) Google reviews of restaurants, coffee shops, or local businesses that make my day a little brighter. We all have more influence than we realize.

Minimize Social Media Around Loved Ones

I am him so the case for this. I often catch myself scrolling past my husband in a zombie-like state without even realizing it. Time flies, and I’m left feeling strangely empty, lonely, or disconnected. Sound familiar?

Researchers even have a name for this behavior: skipping—jumping someone in favor of your phone. It has been linked to lower relationship satisfaction and increased feelings of loneliness. Whenever I see myself doing it now, I try to put my phone down and be where my feet are. Social media will still exist later.

Show the Real You

There is a quote I like from Arlan Hamilton, author of It’s Bad Timethat always reminds me how important it is to appear online and in real life as my real self:

“Be who you are so the people who want you can find you.”

We can’t capture our real lives on social media—and to be honest, I don’t think that’s the point. Some moments are too personal to share. Instead of trying to prove that life isn’t perfect, I think it’s useful to share what you feel is truly meaningful to you. Those glimpses of real life remind us that there’s always more going on beyond the square on the screen.

Use Social Media to Know Yourself Better

Have you ever saved posts, videos, or Reels without ever coming back to them? There is a treasure trove of inspiration waiting for you. Every so often, I’ll revisit my saved posts—moving favorite images to Pinterest, deleting ideas that no longer resonate, and paying attention to themes that continue to emerge. It’s one of my favorite ways to better understand what I’m drawn to artistically and personally.

But here’s the important part: inspiration isn’t meant to live forever in your Saved folder. Let it be something—a recipe you finally cook, a room you redesign, a book you really read, or a project you decide to start.

Teach your algorithm what you want

Every follow, save, comment, and “Not interested” is a vote for the kind of internet you want to receive. Algorithms aren’t fixed—they’re always learning from your behavior. If your feed is starting to feel anxious, negative, or unmotivated, spend a week connecting with creatives who make you feel curious, hopeful, focused, or happy. You’d be surprised how quickly your online experience starts to change.

Teach

One of my favorite things about social media is how much there is to learn. You can find a new recipe one minute and dive into NASA’s latest discoveries the next. Filtering your feed with people who are genuinely teaching you something makes scrolling feel more rewarding.

Use Social Media to Express Yourself

We all have a deep need to be seen and understood—it’s just part of being human. Amanda Palmer said it well: “There’s a difference between wanting to be seen and wanting to be seen.” Expressing ourselves and sharing pieces of our lives can be a good thing. There is no shame in wanting to contribute to the conversation.

Use Social Media as a Creative Space

Do you have a favorite hobby? Creating an account—or Substack, Pinterest board, or online community—around a niche interest can be incredibly fulfilling. Sometimes it’s easier to find your people online than in everyday life. I’ve started more Instagram side projects than I can count, and I can confidently say that I wouldn’t be writing this article if it weren’t for those creative outlets.

Customize Your Experience

Stop Following Wisely

If someone has been giving you a funny feeling or their content no longer resonates with you, unfollow them. To be clear, I’m not suggesting you unfollow people just because they have different opinions than you. In fact, I try to do the opposite. We can learn a lot from our opinions and different things in our own.

But trust your intuition. If someone’s content always leaves you feeling inadequate or sends you into self-comparison, it’s okay to let them go. Protecting your peace is worth it.

Share What Inspires You

Whether we realize it or not, we all influence someone. The question is not whether you have influence—how you choose to use it. I found some of my favorite books, artists, recipes, and ideas because a friend decided to share them online. I hope to do the same for someone else.

Think of these as mini habits. They’re easy enough to practice on a daily basis, but over time, they completely change the way social media feels.

1. Set an intention before opening the app.
Ask yourself: Why am I here? To find friends? Got dinner inspiration? Laughter? Learn something new? Going in with a purpose makes it much easier to leave feeling fulfilled instead of exhausted.

2. Leave one original comment.
If something makes you smile, teaches you something, or inspires you, tell the creator. Thoughtful comments are one of the easiest ways to turn passive scrolling into real interaction.

3. Send one DM.
Share a post that reminded you of a friend, congratulate someone on a milestone, or just check in. Some of the best parts of social media happen in private conversations.

4. Save only what you will actually use.
Instead of saving everything, ask yourself: Will I go back to this for real? A small, selected collection of inspiration is more important than thousands of forgotten memories.

5. Tell the algorithm what you want more of.
Like, save, comment on, and stay on top of content that leaves you feeling inspired. Tap “Not interested” if something sends you to comparison mode. Your feed is always learning from you.

6. Notice how your body feels.
Take a quick break in between scrolling. Do you feel strong? Want to know? Is it intense? Are you jealous? Are you calm? Your body often notices a change before your mind does.

7. Share something because it makes sense—not because it will work.
Whether it’s a favorite recipe, a great trip, or a thought you can’t stop thinking about, let your posts reflect what’s important to you—not what you think everyone else wants to see.

8. Unfollow one account that is no longer active.
People change. Interests change. You don’t owe someone a permanent spot in your feed if their content always leaves you feeling awful.

9. Turn motivation into action.
Cook the recipe. Read the book. Visit a coffee shop. Try to exercise. Social media is at its best when it promotes your real life—not as a substitute for it.

10. Know when you are full.
Close the app while you’re still feeling well. The goal isn’t to cram every last bit of output into your feed—it’s to leave with something more beneficial for your day.

Social media isn’t inherently good or bad—it’s a tool that reflects how we use it. When we approach it with more intention, generosity, and curiosity, it becomes less about comparison and more about connection.

That is the version of the Internet that I want to help create. And if that makes me a social media legend, I’ll gladly take the title.