Written by Robert Scucci | Published
Back in the ’80s, conservative parents had it out for bands like Twisted Sister, Motley Crue, anything Ozzy Osbourne had his name attached to, and Pits & Dragons. By 1985, we had the Parents Music Resource Center (PMRC), headed by Washington wives Tipper Gore and Susan Baker, and thanks to them, we got the worst “PARENTAL ADVISORY” sticker on all albums considered graphic, making kids want to buy more of them. Which brings us to 1988 Black Flowersa film that’s billed as horror but plays like a horror satire about Satanic Panic, mass anarchy, and the kind of early damage control groups like the PMRC put into communities “for their own good.”
Black Flowers it’s stuck decades later because it completely debunks the concept of Satanic Panic in a very funny way. Here, we have a cool and honest high school teacher who doesn’t like to talk about tragedy, who witnesses a band of Satan’s name and all the damage they cause to his class and everyone else, only for every other concerned parent to remove his reservations about letting them finish their three-day trip to Mill Basin. The result is a village that is effectively destroyed before the band moves on to the next stop.
A direct-to-video outing that hinges on the parents’ insecurities at the time, simultaneously filming the parents from a helicopter and high-level authority figures alike for not being able to read the room in any meaningful way.
Dress to Impress
From then on, we get to love Matthew (John Martin), a hip and down-to-earth high school teacher who spends a lot of time Black Flowers follows. He encourages his students to hold forums in the form of open discussions about the day’s lesson, and he is the last person to succumb to the fear of Satan because he thinks his students are smart enough to make informed decisions about the media they consume and how it affects them. Everyone in his class, and the entire school, however, are obsessed with the Black Roses, a controversial band that comes to town with parents in turmoil.
Here it is Black Flowers you get kooky. Mathayi is right not to panic like all parents. Town hall meetings are held before the team’s upcoming three-game homestand, and every senior decides to come and see a Black Roses concert before making a final decision. Everyone joins in, and the band is well-dressed, respectful of the crowd, and wears the kind of goody-two-shoes performance that would make even conservative parents uncomfortable.
The problem is that the members of the Black Roses know that concerned parents will show up and kick them out, so it was all a plan. Basically, they’re Satan’s band, and the second the parents walk out after the first show, the fog machine is on, everyone on stage is wearing leather bondage gear, and it’s painfully obvious that their goal is to manipulate an auditorium full of gullible teenagers into doing what they want. Now that those weird, investigative parents are out of the equation, they can reveal their true demonic nature and wreak havoc.
As the concerts grow, Matthew catches wind of their evil intentions and becomes a frustrated boss who wants the Black Roses out of town for good. He challenges his claims when one of his students, Julie (Karen Witter), possessed by a demon, kills his ex-girlfriend Priscilla (Carla Ferrigno) because she has a love interest in her teacher and feels the need to end the competition. Matthew expresses his concern to Mayor Farnsworth (Ken Swofford), but the mayor sees what he sees and sees the group as harmless, even though the leader of the group is named Damian and it seems that he is seconds away from making a human sacrifice on stage at any moment.
Well, That Ended Well
Black Flowers it stands up today because it doesn’t really take sides in the Satanic Panic debate, which is where most of its humor comes from. On the other hand, you have a bunch of concerned, out-of-touch parents who only want the best for their kids but only know how to get angry about rock music and give bad advice. Then there is Matthew, who represents the “cool” teacher we all had growing up, the one you would want to tease you about when you are older. You’re the last person to buy Satanic Panic because you know that art is just art and that, as long as you have open, healthy conversations about it, you’ll be fine.
In between is the band itself, a group of real demons who defeat the parents while scaring the living daylights out of Matthew. It’s a reversal of the last role, and it’s great fun to watch because it’s one of those rare occasions where the crowd is wrong and the voice of reason is right in the worst way.
Black Flowers it has a lot of fun subverting genre conventions, and it doesn’t hurt that glam metal band King Kobra contributed a healthy amount of the legendary band’s music to the screen. If you want to explore your dark side and be treated to the infectious melodies of Black Roses, you can stream the film for free on Tubi as of this writing.
